Ode to an Old Friend

"Earlier this week, I started putting stuff in a box. And that box was labeled 'Stuff I Have No Use For Anymore' ...Maybe you belong in that box."
-Theodore Evelyn Mosby

From the first time we met, years ago, we got along famously. You weren't glamorous or shiny, but neither am I. We just fit each other. Since that day, you have been there for me through so many ups and downs, so much sweat and so many tears. Trusty, comfortable. You never let me down. Well, maybe once or twice. But we recovered and together did our best to make things work. Long after others would have cast you off, I kept you around. I didn't care what people said. I ignored their questions about why I continued to keep you around. We had a bond that I hoped would never be broken.

But that day finally came. I kept putting it off longer and longer. I made excuses for why I should continue to keep you as a major part of my life. But...you became practically dangerous. I'm still not embarrassed by you, on the contrary... your foibles are endearing. I know all your little peccadilloes. "People call these things imperfections, but they're not. Ah, that's the good stuff."

Nonetheless, I cannnot in good conscience keep you as part of my daily life any longer. You are, quite literally, a threat to my health. The buffer you served to protect me from the outside world has grown too thin. So, yesterday, I finally found your replacement. It pained me, but it had to be done.

Do not fret. I won't throw you out on the curb. As the song goes, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold." Though the harm to you has been irreparable, I'll keep you around. We can say hi every so often if we bump into each other, and I'll fondly remember all the time we spent together. But for now, you've been replaced...sadly.


Goodbye, old friend.